Don’t forget hospitality
Series: Welcome home | Bible text: Hebrews 13:2
«Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in this way some have sheltered angels without realising it!» (Hebrews 13:2). The Greek word used in the Bible for hospitality means literally the love of the stranger. Such hospitality is not only gastronomy, but also a spiritual event.
Rabbi Shmuel of Brysow was one of the most respected men of his Hasidic faith. And he was rich. One day a large group of merchants came to Brysow just before the Sabbath, so they decided to stay in town for the holiday. They came to Rabbi Shmuel and inquired if they could stay in his house and share the Sabbath meal with him. Rabbi Shmuel replied that he could offer them both, but only for a fee, and then he even mentioned a rather high sum that they would have to pay for their stay. The travellers were disconcerted that a Hasid would demand payment for the benefit of hospitality, but since they had no choice, they accepted his offer. And so the merchants ate and drank their fill over the Sabbath, even demanding fine wines and selected dishes as payment for the high price they would have to pay. Nor did they hesitate to make all kinds of special requests. When the Sabbath was over and the merchants wanted to continue their journey, they entered Rabbi Shmuel’s study to pay the agreed sum. But the rabbi burst out laughing: «Do you think I have lost my mind? How could I accept money for the privilege of offering hospitality to travellers?«The merchants looked at each other uncomprehendingly: «Why then did you accept us only on condition that we pay you a high price? Then Rabbi Shmuel explained: «I was afraid you might be embarrassed to eat enough or drink the best wines if you only felt like my guests. And – be honest, wasn’t I right?»
It’s not just this special Jewish humour, but we Swiss can also empathise with it very well. In our latitudes, we don’t like to receive gifts, do we? For example, meticulous lists are kept of what and how much each person gave the boy for his confirmation. Neighbour Müller, CHF 20, and a dark blue washcloth-towel set with his name on it. Then, a few years later, when neighbour Müller’s daughter has her own confirmation, a package with a pink washcloth-towel set and the exact amount of CHF 20.45 flutters into the mail slot of the neighbour’s house (adjusted for inflation, of course). Just not be in anyone’s debt.
Today it’s about hospitality. And there are both sides: The side of the host and also the side of the guest. What makes a good host? What makes a good guest? Rabbi Samuel would answer the second question: «A good guest is someone who likes to be treated well and does not always secretly calculate what it will take to be even again.» And what then makes a good host?
Be generous
«Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in this way some have sheltered angels without realising it!»(Hebrews 13:2). To be hospitable, you need a big heart. The word xenophilia means literally Love for strangers. Hospitality means being kind to strangers, opening your heart and your home to others.
So hospitality is not shown by how I entertain my friends, but how I treat strangers. Jesus says to a host in a parable: «When you invite guests for lunch or dinner, do not invite your friends, brothers, relatives or rich neighbours. For they will repay you by inviting you as well. Rather, invite the poor, the crippled, the paralysed and the blind. In the resurrection of the God-fearing you are fortunate, for God will reward you for inviting people who could not repay you.»(Luke 14:12–14).
It often goes like this: Fritz invited me to his birthday, so next time I’ll invite him to my birthday too. Xenophilia, as the Bible understands it, does not only mean the cultivation of the circle of friends, but clearly goes beyond that. I only have faint memories of the time when we came to Seon 20 years ago as a small family of strangers. But I still remember some of the people who helped with the moving. I was very impressed when Philippe E. invited Silvia and me to their small group during the first service. Xenophilia obviously leaves a lasting impression.
Elsewhere, Jesus speaks of the works of mercy in the context of the last judgement: «I was a stranger and you invited me into your home»(Matthew 25:35b). Those addressed had no idea what he was talking about. So they ask when this happened. Jesus replied: «I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me!» (40). Hospitality in the final judgement will be measured by how we have treated the lowly.
These thoughts challenge me a lot. In my mind I go through the guest lists for my birthdays, New Year’s Eve parties and 1 August celebrations. It’s much more comfortable to invite people who tick like me and confirm me. Guest-friendliness, as the Bible understands it, requires a wide heart and much generosity. And yet it is obvious that the xenophilia should be an integral part of a follower’s life. Few exhortations are repeated as often in the Bible as this one. It is even an indispensable criterion for the election of elders (Titus 1:8). The Bible emphasises the importance of hospitality. It is a wonderful way to show God’s love to people in need.
The core of hospitality is encounter. «You can let someone in the door and he still feels that he has stayed outside. His body has been allowed in, but the soul has not. He must also be taken in spiritually»(Romano Guardini). This spiritual reception happens in mutual sharing and participation in each other’s lives. We may start out in shallow waters, exchanging pleasantries and news, gossiping a bit – but then the conversation takes on depth. We share each other’s happiness and sorrow, take in each other’s joys and burdens. Real encounters succeed when all participants are given space and attention.
Meet angels
His big business is at rest. It is hot. Abraham is enjoying a well-deserved siesta at the entrance to his tent. This time of relaxation is very important for his work-life balance. After a first power nap, he suddenly sees the silhouettes of three men through his sleepy eyes. «When he noticed them, he stood up, walked towards them and bowed low before them. My lord», he said, «if you are friendly to me, your servant, then don’t just walk on».»(Genesis 18:2f). And now Abraham practised hospitality in the oriental sense. He lets them rest in the shade of the tree while his servants wash their feet. Wife Sara is instructed to bake flatbread from the best flour, and one of the servants is to slaughter and prepare a tender young calf. «When the meal was ready, he took butter and milk and the roasted meat and served it to the men» (8). I imagine that they dined together after sunset. What a gigantic effort for three strange men running around!
In the following conversation it suddenly says: «Then the LORD said to Abraham» (13). Probably the scales suddenly fall from Abraham’s eyes that the Lord is visiting him personally. «Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in this way some have sheltered angels without realising it!»(Hebrews 13:2).
A similar thought already shone through in Jesus» final judgement speech mentioned above. Jesus identifies with the least of his brothers and sisters. What we do for them, we do for Jesus. In the xenophilia It could be that we look directly into the eyes of an angel or even Jesus. Where visitors go or where visitors are received, a spiritual dimension sometimes opens up. Without knowing it, we host angels or become angels for others, that is, helpful messengers of God. In meeting friends and through hospitality with strangers, we do speak with our human voices. But what was said often stays with you for a long time. The more we think about it, the more it seems to us that God has spoken a word to us.
I am convinced that this happens not only when we invite strangers home and entertain them, but just as when we open our hearts wide and, for example, have a coffee with someone we don’t yet know (well) after a service..
Learn more about you
The three men announce during their visit that Sara has given birth to a son at the same time next year. This is an incredible announcement. After all, Sarah is already so withered that she no longer even thinks about love lust, and Abraham is also far too old for such things (12f). During this visit their vision is kissed awake and the aged couple Abraham and Sarah go their way newly encouraged. The visit takes her further because the guests speak a truth that is not so easy to say. Sara has good reasons to laugh at the announcement of a son (12). Nevertheless, the guest pronounces this inconceivable promise.
It is precisely in the confrontation with the foreign that we learn more about ourselves. When we meet friends, we experience good feelings, confirmation and pats on the back. We need that. In the encounter with the stranger, we are confronted with our own feelings, which we did not even know were inside us. The Jewish philosopher Martin Buber says: «The human being becomes the «I» in the «you».«In the confrontation with the other, we recognise ourselves.
In John (chapter 21), Jesus as the risen Lord is the surprise host. He has gutted, washed and scaled the fish and built a fire. He waits until a nice glow has developed and then also begins to roast the fish. His guest, Peter, reaches him swimming. There is about to be a heart-stirring pastoral encounter. But first the food, because as we know, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… After the meal, Jesus addresses the betrayal of his disciple. The host does this so tactfully that the truth comes to light and the guest remains protected at the same time. It is always a great art to hold the truth in love. According to Paul, it is a prerequisite for Christlikeness: «Instead, let us hold fast to the truth in love and become more like Christ in every way, who is the head of his body – the church»(Ephesians 4:15). Without truthfulness our conversations become a flat exchange of harmless niceties, without love we slap them in each other’s faces like a wet rag. When the two come together, it is like holding out a warm coat for each other to slip into.
The week before last, we had guests from Canada in our house. They were foreign to us in several ways: we have never met them before, we don’t speak their language and they have a different cultural background. In the run-up we were a bit nervous, we read English books, cleaned our room and bought food they loved. Today we know: We were hosting angels. The conversations with the two were very inspiring and some realisations about my ministry as a pastor fell like scales from my eyes. I learned truths about myself and will now also tackle concrete things. «Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for in this way some have sheltered angels without realising it!»
Possible questions for the small groups
Read the Bible text: Genesis 18:1–15
- What did you understand by hospitality until now? How has your understanding been broadened by the sermon?
- Have you ever thought after a visit that you were harbouring angels? What gave rise to this thought?
- How could one make the leap from niceties and news to more depth?
- What does it take to give your usual visits a spiritual dimension?
- In the next few weeks, try to consciously cultivate xenophilia, the love of strangers!
