The quiet world changers
Series: Welcome home | Bible text: Luke 1:26–45 +2:16–20, John 2:1–10; 19:25
The church needs both introverts and extroverts so that it can act thoughtfully! Two sermons deal with the interaction of people with these two personality orientations. Mary, the mother of Jesus, shows some clearly introverted characteristics. Today the focus is on introverts. They are challenged to grow into spiritually and emotionally mature people.
Four weeks ago Debora Sommer was with us and preached on the theme «Curtain up for quiet Christians». I have been working on this issue for about a year and have the concern that the seetal chile becomes a good home for everyone – for extroverts and introverts.
As I am mostly introverted, it has always been important to me that our events are designed in such a way that visitors can feel 100% safe at all times. That’s why we don’t have any calls to greet and compliment the person next to you, to pray in groups and also no hall interviews. For me, it would be bad if I had to spontaneously answer a question in front of everyone. I think we are basically «introsensitive». And yet someone recently told me that they never respond to anyone in the info harrow would approach. Another strongly introverted person said that she was so happy about the bistro. She didn’t have to join the crowds and could leave unmolested at the end of the service.
During the first years as a pastor, I felt bad about my introversion. In the back of my mind I carried the ideal that a pastor had to be involved in an association, at least in the fire brigade, in order to have contact with people. For me, however, it is essential for survival to spend an evening in my «cave» without a church appointment. That’s the only way I can keep my energy levels up.
Behavioural patterns of intros
A very good example of an introvert is Mary, the mother of Jesus. She is still a teenager when an angel comes to her with the challenging message that she would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and give birth to a boy named Jesus. He would be the promised Saviour. Mary agrees.
Their great answer is: «I am the servant of the Lord and bow to His will. May all that you have said come true and happen to me» (Luke 1:38 NL). It is of course ingenious and right when someone calls herself a servant of the Lord and bows to His will. To say such a thing in this exceedingly great challenge is simply exemplary. Mary proves here her great faithfulness to God. But with intros it tends to tip over and they are sometimes submissive to people in an unpleasant way. Yes, not infrequently they even slip into a victim role and feel sorry for themselves.
But then Mary leaves the town where she lived and goes to a remote village in the hill country of Judea. «Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months and then returned home»(Luke 1:56 NL). Maria takes a three-month timeout with her relative (presumably cousin) Elisabeth to process the whole story. This is typical behaviour for an introvert. She needs peace and retreat to think through a situation and come to terms with it.
Then comes the time of the birth. Mary gives birth to Jesus in a stable. The shepherds come from the field and then it says: «Then the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had told them about this child. All the people who heard the shepherds» account were filled with wonder. But Mary kept all these things in her heart and often thought about them» (Luke 2:17–19 NL). Mary does not immediately burst into jubilation and shout «Hallelujah» loudly. She hears everything and thinks it through in her heart. A few years later, when Jesus is lost in the temple, the Bible text says again: «He then returned with them to Nazareth and was an obedient son to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart»(Luke 2:51 NL). Introverts think a lot and need time to do so. They may not show much emotion on the outside, but there is an immense amount happening in their inner world.
The danger for intros is that they stay thinking and don’t say things. But that’s not the case with Maria. She speaks things out, and she speaks them out clearly. At the wedding at Cana, to which Jesus, his friends and his mother are invited, this becomes clear. The wine runs out. This is quite embarrassing for the host. Mary gives Jesus to understand that he could help in this situation. And then comes a sentence that is so simple that one often misses the depth of it. «But his mother instructed the servants: «Do whatever he commands you to do».»(John 2:5 NL). Introverts are people who don’t need many words, but what they say is thoughtful and clear. Mary had kept everything she had seen of Jesus so far in her heart and thought it through. She has come to the conclusion that Jesus is indeed the promised Saviour, the Son of God. Therefore, she could now clearly say: What really counts is that you listen to Jesus and do what he says.
In the rest of the story, Maria does not appear very often. The reason for this is perhaps her introversion. But at the very end, when Jesus was already arrested, mocked and nailed to the cross, we meet her again. «Near the cross stood the mother of Jesus and her sister, as well as Mary, the wife of Klopas, and Mary Magdalene.»(John 19:25 NL). In this most difficult hour of Jesus, it is not the extroverted Peter who is present, but the introverted Mary. She does not run away or hide, as the other disciples did. Her thoughtful, deep and unambiguous faith leads her to endure this terrible torment here at this moment. She will also be one of the first to know about the resurrection.
It is a characteristic of introverts that they show a lot of perseverance. Once they are convinced of something, they stand by it.
Challenges for intros
Spiritually-emotionally mature intros leave the victim role and take responsibility.
Immature introverts tend to withdraw aggrieved when they feel overlooked, ignored and unwelcome. Unfortunately, it is very easy to overlook intros because they go out of their way to avoid attracting attention. If I want to be perceived as an introvert, I have to be ready to leave the victim role and take responsibility. I have to be ready to leave my safe hiding place in the shell and become visible. It is not the attention of extroverts that gives value to my introverted being, but the Creator Himself. I am wonderfully created the way I am. And I want to remember that even with my introverted nature, I am challenged to serve others with my gifts.
Last week I was at the Jubilee celebration at Chrischona. In a conversation with a former classmate, I asked if his three children were connected to a church. He answered in the negative. There had been a few dominant people who had set the pace in the youth work. His children were rather quiet. When the parents tried to raise the issue with the leaders, they were told that there was room for everyone in their youth work. Obviously, it is very difficult for extroverts to enter and understand the world of introverts. How can our groups nevertheless become a good place also for introverts? On the one hand, as I said, introverts need to take responsibility and learn to take their place. On the other hand, it probably takes mature introverts who have already taken this step to pave the way for others with understanding and patience.
Spiritually-emotionally mature introverts appreciate the strengths of extroverts.
Sometimes I vacillate between regretting not being as extroverted as others and accusing them of being too loud, rash and perhaps even inconsiderate. Introverts often think through their actions and decisions well. It happens again and again that an extro comes along and brings clever suggestions. When confronted with such suggestions, I sometimes react very cagily because everything has been thought through and I assume that an extroverted person simply thinks too little. For the other person, on the other hand, it’s further proof that I’m stuck. What seems inconsiderate in the eyes of the intros in need of harmony is honest behaviour from the point of view of the extros, which is quite appropriate and even urgently needed. The Church needs both so that it can act thoughtfully!
Spiritually-emotionally mature intros share respectfully and give extroverts a chance to respond.
In the Platonic dialogue, Socrates asks his interlocutor: «Speak so that I may see you». This sentence reminds introverts that sometimes even quiet people should open their mouths: for themselves, for their convictions and insights, but also for the benefit of other people. Because also she have something to say. It is pleasing when extroverts try to draw introverts out. But introverts should learn to come out of the closet even without an invitation. Too often I still have the impression that the people around me – be it the wife, the children or co-workers – have to notice for themselves what I think and expect from them. Similarly, I have become accustomed to wordless communication and early in life conditioned the motto: «I’ll prove it to you.»
Here in the community there are very quiet older people who would never demand that I visit them again. I find it a challenge to treat them as equals to the others who come forward and demand.
Spiritually-emotionally mature intros dare communion and at the same time remain true to themselves.
Introversion is not an excuse in the sense of, «Oh, you know, I’m just an introvert, so I can’t maintain relationships and do ministry in my church.» Introversion does characterise, like I am, but do not commit, who I am. The calls of the Bible apply to all people. And as long as we are breathing, we are challenged to orient ourselves to Jesus and to let ourselves be changed by him. This includes taking to heart what God also cares about; for example, relationships and community. We are called, together To be salt and light in this world (Matthew 5:13f). Together we are called to go into the whole world and proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ (Mark 16:15). Many people think of this as handing out tracts at the train station, street outreach or events to invite people who are distant from the church. All this is a torment for introverts and a source of bad conscience. We can learn a lot from Mary here. She does not make many words, but tries to bring people into contact with Jesus. We too should not feel the need to «evangelise» but rather have the desire to bring our friends into contact with Jesus because we love them and expect Jesus to be able to really help them. If we understand evangelism again as a loving service and bringing Jesus into contact with our friends, then even introverts can make a difference. I am allowed to remain true to myself and do not have to bend. I can stand by my limits and needs. And I can say no without a guilty conscience and flimsy explanations. As an introvert, I can sometimes remain invisible, and then consciously become visible again.
The story of Mary shows that God also writes history with introverts and that even introverts can become world changers. The story of Mary begins with the following sentence from the angel Gabriel: «Greetings! You are blessed with great grace! The Lord is with you!»(Luke 1:28 NL). Whatever your personality, God wanted you! He also says to you: «I have given you grace and turned to you». God wants to use you as you are! And at the same time change you into his image. He does this especially in the encounter with different personalities.
Possible questions for the small groups
Read Bible text: Luke 1:26–45 +2:16–20
- Do you also consider Mary, the mother of Jesus, to be rather introverted? What speaks for this? Did God specifically choose a rather introverted personality for this mission?
- Are you satisfied with your personality? Where would you like to expand your territory?
- Do you agree that we in seetal chile are «introsensitive»? What arguments could you use to support this thesis? What speaks a different language?
- For extros: How could you effectively support introverts in our community?
- For intros: In which of the four points mentioned do you want to mature? How do you tackle it?
