Sum\u00adma\u00adry: Many Chris\u00adti\u00adans have heard hundreds of ser\u00admons, but are ama\u00adzed and exci\u00adted when they learn a lot about them\u00adsel\u00adves, about good com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adti\u00adon and con\u00adflict manage\u00adment in a com\u00adpa\u00adny staff semi\u00adnar. Yet the Bible has much to say that is sui\u00adta\u00adble for ever\u00ady\u00adday life. This ser\u00admon rela\u00adtes Bible texts to the topics mentioned.<\/p>\n
Once a woman had spread rumours about her neigh\u00adbours and slan\u00adde\u00adred them. This cau\u00adsed a lot of harm. A long time later she rep\u00aden\u00adted and asked her neigh\u00adbour for for\u00adgi\u00adve\u00adness. He glad\u00adly for\u00adga\u00adve her, but asked her for a favour: \u00abGo home and slaugh\u00adter a chi\u00adcken and pluck out all its fea\u00adthers, even the smal\u00adlest ones, put them in a bas\u00adket and then walk slow\u00adly through the vil\u00adla\u00adge, scat\u00adte\u00adring a litt\u00adle of the fea\u00adthers every three steps. Then climb up the church tower and pour the rest down from up the\u00adre. Then come back to me!\u00bb The woman did as she was told. \u00abFine,\u00bb said the neigh\u00adbour kind\u00adly, \u00abnow go through the streets and pick up all the fea\u00adthers that have been scat\u00adte\u00adred.\u00bb The woman was start\u00adled and said, \u00abBut that\u2019s impos\u00adsi\u00adble! The wind has scat\u00adte\u00adred them in all direc\u00adtions.\u00bb Light as a fea\u00adther our chat\u00adter spreads. How much living neigh\u00adbour\u00adline\u00adss and real com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty is des\u00adtroy\u00aded becau\u00adse we par\u00adti\u00adci\u00adpa\u00adte in gos\u00adsip about others. Tal\u00adking others down makes our\u00adsel\u00adves seem to grow. Tal\u00adking is a \u00abpro\u00adcrea\u00adti\u00adon pro\u00adcess\u00bb that can be life-giving or life-des\u00adtroy\u00ading, that can make us grow or keep us small. \u00abTho\u00adse who love to speak must bear the con\u00adse\u00adquen\u00adces, for the ton\u00adgue can kill or give life\u00bb (Pro\u00adverbs 18:21 NLB<\/span>). I hope that no poin\u00adted fea\u00adthers will be blown through the vil\u00adla\u00adge in our country! \tTo what ext\u00adent can rela\u00adti\u00adonship manage\u00adment be cri\u00adsis prophylaxis? Sum\u00adma\u00adry: Many Chris\u00adti\u00adans have heard hundreds of ser\u00admons, but are ama\u00adzed and exci\u00adted when they learn a lot about them\u00adsel\u00adves, about good com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adti\u00adon and con\u00adflict manage\u00adment in a com\u00adpa\u00adny staff semi\u00adnar. Yet the Bible has much to say that is sui\u00adta\u00adble for ever\u00ady\u00adday life. This ser\u00admon rela\u00adtes Bible texts to the topics men\u00adtio\u00adned. Once a woman had a com\u00adplaint about her neighbours.\u2026<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","wpfc_preacher":[23],"wpfc_sermon_series":[72],"wpfc_sermon_topics":[],"wpfc_bible_book":[],"wpfc_service_type":[12],"class_list":{"0":"wpfc_preacher-matthias-altwegg","1":"wpfc_sermon_series-metamorphose","2":"wpfc-sermon-single","3":"post-3463","4":"wpfc_sermon","5":"type-wpfc_sermon","6":"status-publish","7":"hentry","10":"wpfc_service_type-gottesdienst"},"acf":[],"sermons_blog_filters_topics":"\t\t\t\t
\nSome\u00adti\u00admes com\u00adpa\u00adnies offer semi\u00adnars on com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adca\u00adti\u00adon and con\u00adflict manage\u00adment. After\u00adwards, peo\u00adp\u00adle talk enthu\u00adsi\u00ada\u00adsti\u00adcal\u00adly about new hori\u00adzons that have ope\u00adned up. Among them are also peo\u00adp\u00adle who have alre\u00ada\u00addy heard hundreds of ser\u00admons. In the Bible the\u00adre is much rele\u00advant and wise help for life, espe\u00adci\u00adal\u00adly on this topic. It is our task to rela\u00adte the\u00adse texts to the rea\u00adli\u00adty of our lives. What does the Bible say about hel\u00adpful interaction?
\nSpeech\u2026
\n\u00abThe\u00adr\u00ade\u00adfo\u00adre put away lying [fal\u00adse\u00adhood, untruthful\u00adness] and speak truth, each one with his neigh\u00adbour. For we are mem\u00adbers one of ano\u00adther\u00bb (Ephe\u00adsi\u00adans 4:25 ELB<\/span>).
\nPut away the fal\u00adse and untruthful and speak the truth! This means: Do not decei\u00adve yours\u00adelf and the other per\u00adson. If someone\u2019s words or beha\u00adviour have hurt or upset you, don\u2019t gloss over it. Don\u2019t pre\u00adtend that the who\u00adle thing did\u00adn\u2019t bother you and don\u2019t just hang a cloak of love over it. In most cases this is not a cloak of love, but rather a cloak of con\u00adflict avo\u00adid\u00adance. Moreo\u00adver, spea\u00adking the truth means: Don\u2019t make a moun\u00adtain out of a moleh\u00adill, don\u2019t make things up and don\u2019t inter\u00adpret things that have been said or done in a way that never hap\u00adpen\u00aded. But abo\u00adve all: Talk! Don\u2019t keep things bot\u00adt\u00adled up, don\u2019t clo\u00adse yours\u00adelf off and don\u2019t just bar\u00adri\u00adca\u00adde yours\u00adelf behind a wall of silence and denial.
\nWhy? Becau\u00adse we are con\u00adnec\u00adted to each other as mem\u00adbers of one body. Any untruth we fol\u00adlow or spread, but also any not spea\u00adking out and \u00abjust going into retre\u00adat\u00bb, dama\u00adges this con\u00adnec\u00adtion. And then the\u00adre is the dan\u00adger that the devil uses this thin place to des\u00adtroy com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty. My beha\u00adviour towards other peo\u00adp\u00adle affects the who\u00adle com\u00admu\u00adni\u00adty. Unfort\u00adu\u00adna\u00adte\u00adly, this under\u00adstan\u00adding has been lost in the cour\u00adse of indi\u00advi\u00addua\u00adli\u00adsa\u00adti\u00adon. We are mem\u00adbers of one body and are bound tog\u00ade\u00adther for bet\u00adter or worse. The\u00adr\u00ade\u00adfo\u00adre, inter\u00adper\u00adso\u00adnal pro\u00adblems are not just pri\u00adva\u00adte matters.
\nIf we want to pre\u00advent con\u00adflict, we have to invest in rela\u00adti\u00adonships. If we live in good sta\u00adble rela\u00adti\u00adonships, we can endu\u00adre stressful situa\u00adtions and some con\u00adtro\u00adver\u00adsy with each other wit\u00adhout it kno\u00adcking us off cour\u00adse. This is why Paul not only pre\u00ada\u00adched, but shared lives. \u00abWe loved you so much that we not only brought you God\u2019s good news but also shared our own lives with you\u00bb (1Thessalonians 2:8 NLB<\/span>). Espe\u00adci\u00adal\u00adly in a church like we are, it is so important that we know more about each other than just name and pro\u00adfes\u00adsi\u00adon. If we know the slumps in our bio\u00adgra\u00adphy, the stress at work or the quar\u00adrel in the mar\u00adria\u00adge, we under\u00adstand each other bet\u00adter and can clas\u00adsi\u00adfy the beha\u00adviour differently.
\n\u2026still today
\nA time win\u00addow for this cla\u00adri\u00adfi\u00adca\u00adti\u00adon pro\u00adcess is direct\u00adly pro\u00advi\u00added here: We are to clear things up on the same day: \u00abDo not sin when you are angry, and do not let the sun go down on your anger. Do not give the devil an oppor\u00adtu\u00adni\u00adty to gain power over you through anger!\u00bb (Ephe\u00adsi\u00adans 4:26f NLB<\/span>). Don\u2019t let any\u00adthing go to was\u00adte. The lon\u00adger we post\u00adpo\u00adne the deba\u00adte, the grea\u00adter the dan\u00adger that this initi\u00adal\u00adly neu\u00adtral fee\u00adling of anger or annoyan\u00adce will tempt us to sin\u00adful actions and thoughts, so that the devil gets a foot in the door. I know from mys\u00adelf that not spea\u00adking up often leads to me making things more and more big in my inner self. What the other per\u00adson may have said or done unthin\u00adking\u00adly and wit\u00adhout mea\u00adning it, is inter\u00adpre\u00adted by me in exact\u00adly the same way. \u00abHe wants to tell me\u2026\u00bb \u00abHe knows exact\u00adly\u2026\u00bb \u00abHe\u2019s done it again, he\u2019s doing it on pur\u00adpo\u00adse\u2026\u00bb etc. After such thoughts, the devil not only has a foot in the door, but has actual\u00adly alre\u00ada\u00addy made hims\u00adelf at home with me.
\nAno\u00adther gate\u00adway for the devil is tal\u00adking to others about the situa\u00adti\u00adon \u2013 some\u00adthing you should avo\u00adid at all cos\u00adts. The con\u00adflict you have with someone else is bet\u00adween you and that per\u00adson. Third, fourth or even fifth par\u00adties have no busi\u00adness in this con\u00adflict. If we nevert\u00adhel\u00adess invol\u00adve others in the issue, they will be infec\u00adted by your anger and also begin to deve\u00adlop aver\u00adsi\u00adons against the per\u00adson in ques\u00adti\u00adon. Like a can\u00adcer, meta\u00adsta\u00adses are now for\u00admed that affect other lim\u00adbs, so that the who\u00adle body beco\u00admes ill \u2013 ter\u00admi\u00adnal\u00adly ill.
\nMy expe\u00adri\u00adence with con\u00adflicts in the con\u00adgre\u00adga\u00adti\u00adon is that when they final\u00adly come to light, they often have a histo\u00adry that goes back months, may\u00adbe even years. Often all that hap\u00adpen\u00aded at the begin\u00adning was a thought\u00adless remark or an ill-con\u00adside\u00adred beha\u00adviour. Pre\u00adsu\u00adma\u00adb\u00adly, the small dis\u00adtur\u00adban\u00adce could have been reme\u00addi\u00aded quite easi\u00adly \u2013 if one had alre\u00ada\u00addy deci\u00added at this point to fol\u00adlow the advice of the Bible, to cla\u00adri\u00adfy things honest\u00adly and abo\u00adve all quick\u00adly with the per\u00adson con\u00adcer\u00adned and thus not give the devil any room.
\nReap and forgive
\nWe come from a time \u2013 and this is espe\u00adci\u00adal\u00adly true for the 70+ gene\u00adra\u00adti\u00adon \u2013 when peo\u00adp\u00adle were pre\u00addo\u00admi\u00adnant\u00adly sub\u00admis\u00adsi\u00adve. It was a time when it was all about sub\u00admis\u00adsi\u00adon and obe\u00addience: to the par\u00adents, the supe\u00adri\u00ador, the tea\u00adcher, the elders of the con\u00adgre\u00adga\u00adti\u00adon or the pas\u00adtor. From that time comes the say\u00ading: \u00abChild\u00adren who want some\u00adthing, get one on the nog\u00adgin!\u00bb Mea\u00adning: You don\u2019t have to want any\u00adthing, you have to do what you\u2019\u00adre told! You have to obey, sub\u00admit and submit.
\nMean\u00adwhile, we were brought up to be cri\u00adti\u00adcal and to have our own opi\u00adni\u00adon. For all the posi\u00adti\u00adve deve\u00adlo\u00adp\u00adment, today we tend to fall off the hor\u00adse on the other side: the abili\u00adty to sub\u00admit and endu\u00adre a dif\u00adfi\u00adcult situa\u00adti\u00adon goes towards zero. When things don\u2019t suit us any more, when we feel we are going against the grain, when things don\u2019t go the way we ima\u00adgi\u00adned, we can hard\u00adly stand it and we break out. Paul\u2019s words speak to this situa\u00adti\u00adon: \u00abBear with one ano\u00adther and for\u00adgi\u00adve one ano\u00adther, if one has a grie\u00advan\u00adce against ano\u00adther; just as the Lord has for\u00adgi\u00adven you, so also have you! But to all this put on love, which is the bond of per\u00adfec\u00adtion!\u00bb (Colos\u00adsi\u00adans 3:13f ELB<\/span>).
\nBear with each other! Even when we have inves\u00adted in rela\u00adti\u00adonship and addres\u00adsed the con\u00adflict direct\u00adly, the other per\u00adson does not sud\u00adden\u00adly beco\u00adme a dif\u00adfe\u00adrent per\u00adson. After the last ser\u00admon, someone in a pas\u00adto\u00adral con\u00adver\u00adsa\u00adti\u00adon told me about a dif\u00adfi\u00adcult rela\u00adti\u00adonship and how she is chal\u00adlen\u00adged to for\u00adgi\u00adve the other per\u00adson. And then she said, \u00abBut it\u2019s just still equal\u00adly patro\u00adni\u00ads\u00ading.\u00bb We can\u2019t chan\u00adge the other per\u00adson, they will remain the same weird bird they have always been \u2013 and we will remain weird birds too. So we will have to come to terms with the fact that God has pla\u00adced this per\u00adson with the\u00adse stran\u00adge views and impos\u00adsi\u00adble beha\u00adviours in our lives. In fact, it is only when we also bring the abili\u00adty to endu\u00adre and sub\u00admit that we are tru\u00adly fit for community.
\nRecent\u00adly, one of our child\u00adren said: \u00abThe sub\u00adject of salad dres\u00adsing will pro\u00adba\u00adb\u00adly be with you for the rest of your lives. The back\u00adground to the sto\u00adry is that my wife has the habit of diluting the salad dres\u00adsing she buys. For me, the tas\u00adte and vis\u00adco\u00adsi\u00adty are no lon\u00adger right. Until now, this has led to dis\u00adcus\u00adsions. Now I want to endu\u00adre ;-). Admit\u00adted\u00adly, the\u00adre are more essen\u00adti\u00adal issues whe\u00adre we have not yet found the com\u00admon deno\u00admi\u00adna\u00adtor even after 29 years of marriage.
\nTo endu\u00adre does not come from a hel\u00adp\u00adless vic\u00adtim atti\u00adtu\u00adde, but pre\u00adsup\u00adpo\u00adses a spi\u00adri\u00adtu\u00adal resol\u00adve. I sub\u00admit. I actively deci\u00adde to bear this other-other. But we can only actively bear if we are wil\u00adling and able to for\u00adgi\u00adve. With for\u00adgi\u00adve\u00adness, we pro\u00adtect our\u00adsel\u00adves from piling up anger and resent\u00adment insi\u00adde our\u00adsel\u00adves and even\u00adtual\u00adly run\u00adning around like pres\u00adsu\u00adre coo\u00adkers that threa\u00adten to explo\u00adde at any moment. That being said: We live every day on the fact that Jesus for\u00adgi\u00adves us. We are con\u00adstant\u00adly clai\u00adming some\u00adthing that we must by no means deny the other person.
\n
\nSomeone is said to have once said to a wise man: \u00abLis\u00adten, I have to tell you some\u00adthing important about your fri\u00adend.\u00bb \u00abWait a bit,\u00bb the sage inter\u00adrupt\u00aded him. \u00abHave you alre\u00ada\u00addy pas\u00adsed what you want to tell me through the three sie\u00adves?\u00bb \u00abWhat three sie\u00adves?\u00bb \u00abSo lis\u00adten careful\u00adly! The first sie\u00adve is the sie\u00adve of truth. Are you con\u00advin\u00adced whe\u00adther all that you want to tell me is true?\u00bb \u00abNot that, I have only heard it from others.\u00bb \u00abBut then you must have let it pass through the other sie\u00adve? It is the sie\u00adve of good\u00adness.\u00bb The man blus\u00adhed and repli\u00aded, \u00abI must con\u00adfess, no.\u00bb \u00abAnd have you thought of the third sie\u00adve and won\u00adde\u00adred if it would be useful to tell me about my fri\u00adend?\u00bb \u00abUseful \u2013 not real\u00adly!\u00bb \u00abYou see,\u00bb the wise man repli\u00aded, \u00abif what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor useful, you\u2019d bet\u00adter keep it to yourself.\u00bb
\n
\n
\nPos\u00adsi\u00adble ques\u00adti\u00adons for the small groups
\nRead the Bible text: Ephe\u00adsi\u00adans 4:25\u201327; Colos\u00adsi\u00adans 3:13\u201314<\/p>\n
\n\tAfter this ser\u00admon, what is your per\u00adso\u00adnal plan of action to mana\u00adge conflict?
\n\tAre the\u00adre examp\u00adles whe\u00adre you put up with things from others? Do you do it actively or do you feel like a victim?
\n\tWhy is for\u00adgi\u00adve\u00adness an essen\u00adti\u00adal part of con\u00adflict reso\u00adlu\u00adti\u00adon (Colos\u00adsi\u00adans 3:13)? What hap\u00adpens when we bear but do not forgive?
\n\tSpea\u00adking is a \u00abpro\u00adcrea\u00adti\u00adon pro\u00adcess\u00bb that can be life-giving or life-des\u00adtroy\u00ading. How and whe\u00adre could you be a life-giver in the next week?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"