What true love really means
Series: EIFACH muetig – with Jesus as a role model | Bible text: 2 Samuel 9:1–13
God’s generous love is binding and independent of the other person’s performance. God has expressed his binding love through covenants with people. Through the new covenant, he has enabled us to express this generous, binding love to our fellow human beings.
I love Töff (motorbike)
Even as a child, I was fascinated by motorbikes. I watched them with shining eyes and was delighted every time they passed our car with ease. These machines looked elegant, powerful and fast. I once asked my father whether motorbikes were actually allowed to go faster than cars. The powerful acceleration and the impression of boundless freedom mesmerised me. I could hardly wait to own a motorbike myself. In 1989, Hans Stadler had the first 5000 stickers printed with the words «I love Töff» – and I was the proud owner of one. I really believed it at the time: «I love Töff». Love – a word that is used almost inflationarily in our everyday lives and is often misused. But whatever the world understands by «love» – the decisive factor is what God is understood by this.
What does chesed mean?
In the Old Testament, we encounter a Hebrew word that describes a profound aspect of God’s love: chesed. Chesed is the ultimate expression of God’s generous, faithful and binding love. It combines two central elements: Love and Liability. God’s love is not chaotic, not dependent on the giver’s current emotional state, nor on the recipient’s performance. God expresses his chesed love in Alliances – promises with eternal validity.
He made such a covenant with Abraham: «After Lot had departed, the LORD said to Abram, «Look around you on every side. All this land that you see, I will give to you and your descendants as a possession forever. And I will give you so many descendants that they cannot be counted – like the dust on the ground!» (Genesis 13:14–16 LUT).
God promised Abraham countless descendants and a blessing that would flow through him and his descendants. This covenant – an expression of chesed – applied and applies to all descendants, regardless of their performance.
Chesed despite guilt – Jakob
A few decades later, Jacob, Abraham’s grandson, cheated his brother Esau out of the birthright and fled. After twenty years, he returned – fearing Esau’s revenge. «Then Jacob prayed: «O God of my grandfather Abraham and my father Isaac, O Lord, you have commanded me: Return to your homeland and to your relatives. I want to do you good. I am not worthy that you should treat me, your servant, with such great faithfulness and boundless love» (Genesis 32:10–11 NLB).
Jacob recognised his guilt – and that he was God’s chesed love had not deserved. But he also knew that this love was binding. In his prayer, he referred to the covenant with Abraham – to God’s faithfulness. Jacob was not just an individual, but part of a people who were bound to him by God’s covenant.
David – a man after God’s own heart
Another example of living chesed love is David. The Bible calls him a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14). Even though David was not perfect, he lived committed love. David and Jonathan, Saul’s son, were close friends. But when the situation between David and King Saul came to a head, the two of them made a binding decision: «So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David. […] And Jonathan also made David swear by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own life» (1 Samuel 20:16–17 LUT). It was more than a friendship – it was a Covenantwhich included not only David, but his entire family.
When Jonathan later died in battle, David remained faithful to the covenant. «And David said: Is there any left of the house of Saul, that I may have mercy on him for Jonathan’s sake?» (2 Samuel 9:1 LUT). He finds Mefi-Boscheta surviving son of Jonathan, who would have been a potential rival for the throne due to his origins. But David acts differently to the rulers of his time: «Fear not, for I will (chesed) have mercy on you for the sake of your father Jonathan […] But you shall eat at my table daily» (2 Samuel 9:6–8 LUT). This faithful, revolutionary love was an expression of the covenant – the chesed love.
Zeitgeist vs. chesed
In today’s culture, binding love is almost a foreign concept. Personal freedom is declared to be the highest good – everything must remain changeable at all times. But this «freedom» cannot support deep love. True freedom does not mean realising oneself, but rather to give away – as Jesus did. «He who does not love does not know God, for God is love» (1 John 4:8 LUT). This statement sounds harsh. But it can also be formulated positively: When we love, we recognise God. In the act of chesed love we experience God. Intimacy with God does not happen through words alone, but through lived, binding love.
Living Chesed in everyday life
We know that: This kind of love doesn’t just come to us. As fallen human beings, we are not capable of living it permanently in our own strength. That is why God has made a new covenant: «This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is shed for you!» (Luke 22:20 LUT). This covenant applies to all who want to accept it – not just the physical descendants of Abraham. «And I will give you a new heart and a new spirit within you» (Ezekiel 36:26 LUT). When we follow Jesus, this promise becomes a reality. Jesus is the vine – we are the branches (John 15:5). Only through our connection with him can we bear fruit.
Chesed and God’s closeness belong together. By living out this love, we experience intimacy with God. As long as we only love in order to receive something ourselves, it is not love – it is a business. Committed love, however, reflects God’s nature. In an age that idolises self-realisation and profit chesed a radical counterculture. But this is exactly what the human heart longs for: faithful, undeserved, binding love – that never ends.
Summary
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God chesed love is generous and binding.
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We long to experience it – and to pass it on.
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Through the new covenant, we are empowered to love with commitment.
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When we live this love, we come close to God.
Personal conclusion
I’d like to go back to the beginning. As a teenager, I put the sticker «I love Töff» on my motorbike – convinced that I loved it. But looking back, I have to say: I liked it. It was a commodity that gave me short-term pleasure. When an expensive item broke, my «love» quickly faded – and I soon discovered paragliders for myself. Maybe I’ll go back to riding a motorbike or buy a new paraglider. There’s nothing wrong with that.
But I have realised that «love» has become a commonplace word. This makes it all the more important to recognise what true, binding love – chesed – really means. Let’s start living this love today. Step by step. Not by denying our needs, but by growing daily in our relationship with God.
And when we are weak? Then the following applies: «Therefore I am of good courage in weakness, in trials, in distresses, in persecutions, and in anguish for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong» (2 Corinthians 12:10 LUT). When we feel unable to love, we can trust: Jesus is the vine – we are the branches.
Possible questions for the small group
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What about the sermon particularly appealed to you or touched you in a new way?
– Is there a person or a passage from the Bible that particularly resonates with you? -
How would you describe the difference between human love and God’s love? chesed love in your own words?
– Where in your life have you already experienced something of this faithful love of God? -
What role does commitment play in your relationships – e.g. in family, friendship or church?
– Do you find it easy or difficult to love with commitment? -
David took the covenant with Jonathan seriously beyond death. How can we live binding love today without becoming legalistic or overwhelmed?
– Where do you sense an invitation from God to chesed to show? -
What helps you personally to stay rooted in God’s love and to act out of it?
– Are there spiritual «practical aids» that help you to stay connected to Jesus (e.g. Bible, prayer, fellowship)?
