At home at the Father Heart of God
Series: Welcome home | Bible text: Galatians 4:6,7
The Bible repeatedly presents God as a father with many good qualities. We want to be challenged by these to also live a good fatherhood in our families. Despite all our efforts, we miss some things and do not even meet our own requirements. This leaves its mark on the children. But God as Father takes care of us and gives healing.
A congregation organised a faith course on «Breathing into God’s Presence». One course participant listened patiently to everything, but remained extremely reserved. Only on the last evening did it burst out of him: What if this Father in heaven is like my own father? Just as merciless? Just as punitive? Just as demanding? Of course, exactly the opposite was taught in the course. The incredibly generous, merciful fatherly love of God is a core component of our message. But our own real experience of the Father is deeply rooted in us. Consciously or unconsciously, we almost inevitably transfer it to God. So many people report that they are given an image of God in their churches and communities that is not healing and liberating, but rather oppressive and frightening.
The Heavenly Father
The Bible repeatedly portrays God as Father. When asked how we should pray, Jesus replied: «When you pray, say: Father!»(Luke 11:2). Why did he say «our father»? Jesus could also have said: «Our Saviour», or «Our Holy Spirit» – but it begins with «Our Father». In general, «Father» is God’s preferred term for Himself in the Bible. The Bible uses the word Father in connection with God as Father about 351 times.
People who place their trust in Jesus Christ receive the Holy Spirit as a gift. Among other things, the Holy Spirit brings about the following: «Therefore, because you are his sons and daughters, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, the Spirit who prays in us and cries «Abba, Father!»(Galatians 4:6 NGÜ). Abba, father. This is the familiar familiar address to a father like Daddy or Vati. Just like our physical father, we may address God, the Almighty and the Omniscient.
A few characteristics of this good father will now be shown:
God as Father draws to Himself without appropriating. What kind of father are we talking about in relation to God? One of the most impressive examples showing the heart of God the Father is the parable of the father with the two sons (Luke 15:12–24). The story is about a father who had a rebellious son on the one hand and a proud, jealous son on the other. Both sons rejected their father. The first one gave him to understand: «Give me my inheritance» – this means as much as: «I wish you were dead». The second son made it clear to him: «I don’t like what you’re doing. You are unfair!» The father tried to win the hearts of both sons, but left them full freedom to refuse the invitation as well. He never withdrew in offence or otherwise put pressure on his sons. Jesus declares: «No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him to me»(John 6:44). God draws to Himself as Father, without appropriating.
God as Father raises His children in love without being unpredictable. «When you have to endure hardship, recognise in it God’s rebuke; remember that God treats you as His children. Who would ever have heard of a son who was never punished?»(Hebrews 12:7). Raising children is one of the most difficult tasks. I would much rather remove all obstacles from their path so that they have to experience as little frustration as possible. A few weeks ago, our daughter caught her first fine for speeding. She has to work more than two hours to earn Fr. 40. For us it is much less. I would gladly pay her the fine to save her the frustration. But it would be foolish. The heavenly Father makes us endure hardship so that we may mature. He never does this out of base motives, but always out of love. It is said about him: «All good gift and all perfect gift is from above, from the Father of lights, with whom is no change nor alternation of light and darkness.» (James 1:17 Lut). No change of light and darkness, absolutely reliable. Unpredictability would deeply hurt the children’s souls.
God as Father is generous and merciful without spoiling his children. God is the owner of all silver and gold (Haggai 2:8). He owns the whole world. In the continuation that we may call «Abba, Father», it says: «This shows that you are no longer a slave, but a son. But if you are a son, you are also an heir; God himself has destined you for this.» (Galatians 4:7 NGÜ). In God’s generosity, He makes His children heirs of His inconceivable riches! Great is also his mercy: «As a father has mercy on his children, so the Lord has mercy on all who fear him.»(Psalm 103:13). The fact that he educates us speaks against spoiling us.
God as Father is strong without effeminating his children. «And he will say to me: «You are my Father, my God, my saving Rock».»(Psalm 89:27). Children of God benefit enormously from His strength. We can stand on the rock at any time. There we are strengthened and set free in our personal responsibility.
God as Father initiates and calls into being without abusing. He called us before the foundation of the world. Today, too, he speaks to us. At the same time, he always leaves us the freedom to go our own way.
Earthly fathers
A fortnight ago, Swiss television showed a documentary programme on the subject of «addiction». An addicted man in a miserable state told how he had lost the person he loved most, his father, when he was eleven years old. This had been the crux of his life. The biological father has a very big influence on our lives.
God the Father is the great example of fatherhood. I will pick out a few points:
Draw to GodMany fathers leave the religious education of their children to the mother. This is most unfortunate. A study shows that if in a family the mother comes to faith, there is a 17% chance that the husband and children will follow her. If, on the other hand, the father comes to faith, there is a more than 70% chance that the rest of the family will follow suit. The influence of the father on faith in a family is very great. Joshua said on behalf of his family: «In any case, I and my family will serve the Lord»(Joshua 24:15b). Can a father decide for his whole family? At least he should face the responsibility and go ahead.
Educate in loveIt is so important that fathers speak into the lives of their children. Sometimes we talk about what it means to be submissive to each other, or the wife to the husband (Ephesians 5:21f). The Greek word is not so hierarchical. The Greek word is not meant hierarchically, but primarily means to be a part of the family system. The input of fathers is urgently needed. Fathers should participate in the lives of their children. Studies show that this improves children’s school performance, health, mental development, their prospects for an economically stable home, their later love life and much more. Mopeds have the characteristic that they have to be constantly repaired and maintained. Jokingly, I sometimes say that mopeds were probably invented so that fathers would do something with their sons. Reed Markham aptly says: «Being a father is like shaving. No matter how thoroughly you shave today, you have to do it again tomorrow.»
Initiate and bring to lifeToday we know that the gender identity of a child comes from the man: he provides the decisive chromosome. The confirmation and formation of our identity and sexuality – for both men and women – happens primarily through the father. This does not mean that the mother plays no role in this process – of course she does. But the drawing of a child’s identity into the affirmation of masculinity or femininity is done by the man. That’s how God has set it up. You do this by speaking into the lives of your children and by connecting emotionally with your children, building a relationship, getting to know and understand their world. That’s how character and identity is built. So, for example, if someone lacks a sense of personality and identity, it usually has to do with the early formative years and the emotional or physical absence of the father.
Father Wounds
Father wounds prevent you from entering into a loving, trusting relationship with God. They give you a false idea of Heavenly Father in various ways. Here are some practical examples:
- A lawful, harsh and demanding father leads to the idea that God is angry, impersonal and demanding.
- A perfectionist father with high demands, little praise and encouragement leads to the idea that God is never satisfied, always disappointed and angry with me.
- A father who shows little or no visible affection leads to a notion that God is distant and impersonal.
- A father who is critical and verbally abusive leads to a notion that God tolerates people but does not really love them.
- A father who is too pampering and never says no leads to a notion that God exists for my needs and must conform to my desires.
- A father who has favourite children leads to an idea that God only loves good people and has favourite children, that his love is conditional.
- A father who has repeatedly broken his promises or failed to follow through with warning consequences leads to an idea that God is unreliable and unfaithful.
- A father who is a workaholic and focuses his energy and passion outside the home leads to a notion that God is indifferent and it is difficult to get His attention.
- A father who abuses and dominates leads to an idea that God rules through fear, demands absolute obedience and is not trustworthy.
- A father who is moody and temperamental leads to an idea that God is unpredictable, loves me at times, and then suddenly is angry again.
- A father who is sinful, immoral and undisciplined leads to an idea that God does not mean what he says, that he is a weakling who is not to be taken seriously and feared.
- A father who is hypocritical by being another at home than in public leads to an idea that God is not powerful, that faith is at most good for social things and has nothing to do with daily life.
Yes, fathers are sometimes difficult, which the children also notice. That is why Mark Twain said: «When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant. I could hardly stand the old man around me. But at twenty-one, I was amazed at how much he had learned in seven years.»
We also need healing for the miracles that were struck by the fathers. As with the mother wounds, the key is to have a growing and intimate relationship with God the Father. «If even father and mother abandon me, the Lord will take me in»(Psalm 27:10). I am convinced: What we need much more in our congregations is space for real heart-to-heart encounters with this all-surpassing love of the heavenly Father. Then the Holy Spirit will reveal our wounds to us and we will be allowed to recognise them, forgive the Father, break ties, experience forgiveness and receive God’s blessing.
The turned hearts of fathers to their children has prophetic dimension. «But before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes, I will send you the prophet Elijah. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that at my coming I will not have to destroy the land»(Malachi 3:23f). The heart relationship between father and child has a preserving and healing influence on the whole country.
Possible questions for the small groups
Read the Bible text: Galatians 4:6–7
- Tell each other about experiences you had with your father!
- Which of the characteristics of the heavenly Father appeals to you most? On which point do you have doubts as to whether he is really like that?
- To the fathers: Which of the above responsibilities for the children do you want to pay special attention to in the near future? Where do you need support?
- Which of your own father experiences do you (perhaps unconsciously) transfer to God as Father? What father wounds might you have that need healing?
- Where should you, as a father or mother (see last Sunday), ask for forgiveness from your children for what they have missed or failed to do?
