Real friends – because good relationships are important
«There are friends, there is family – and there are friends who become family «Welcome home! Real friends are wanted – because good relationships are worth their weight in gold. Helpful tips for developing friendships.
I remember a programme from ARD called «Erlebnis Erde» (Experience Earth) in which it was shown that there are 10 million species of animals and plants on earth, of which none can survive on their own. Be it for food or reproduction or other requirements: they depend on each other for survival! Man, the crown of creation, is no different! We need each other in everyday life. We need each other for a healthy development in faith. It is not for nothing that we have so many letters in the New Testament that talk about being with and for one another! It is also remarkable that God chose a whole people for salvation history!
Relationships are essential for life and faith!
The best example of this phrase is Jesus! He lived relationships on three levels:
- Jesus lived in the closest relationship with his heavenly Father. That is why he withdrew again and again into silence. These times together with his father were essential for his survival!
- At the same time, Jesus sought a relationship with the people. He chose 12 disciples with whom he shared his whole life in this world and they became his friends! He also took women into his circle of friends.
- Jesus also established relationships with the outside worldHe took time for the sick, the suffering, for tax collectors and sinners – for all who longed for love and acceptance. Jesus had eyes that even spotted Zacchaeus on the mulberry tree! Unfortunately, this is what Jesus was reproached for, cultivating such relationships! The Pharisees gossiped about him: «He is a glutton and a drunkard, and the worst people are his friends!» (Matthew 11:19 NL) They could not have given more beautiful praise! Do you even know the worst of your villages?! We should! Jesus has set an example for us. As a community we have a lot to offer. Every community of Christians is a community of friendship! A community that creates friends!
Questions on the topic
This morning’s theme challenges us to answer a few questions!
How can you recognise a real friend?
The sermon text I have chosen is from Philippians (Philippians 2:1–5 NL) which describes friendship quite well:
- V1 Do you encourage one another to follow Christ? Do you comfort one another in love? Are you in the Holy Spirit connected? Is there mercy and compassion among you?
Friends encourage each other: «Keep at it, don’t hang up your faith.» They know how to comfort each other. They can sympathise, laugh with each other, mourn with each other! They feel connected. Not because they are soulmates, but because the bond of faith holds them together.
- V2 Then why not make my joy totallyby working together in good fellowship, loving one another and holding together with all your heart.
Friends stick resolutely together through thick and thin, they make sure that nothing can disturb their relationship and meet each other with love that has staying power. They listen to each other and can talk about everything together, honestly and openly.
- V3 Do not be selfish; do not strive to make a good impression on others, but be humble and respect others higher than yourselves.
A friend is not arrogant or opinionated. They can listen to others even if they disagree with them. Friends think more of the other person than of themselves.
- V4 Do not only think about your own affairs, but also take an interest in others and what they are doing.
Friends are concerned that the other person is doing well, not just themselves. Friends ask about each other’s well-being.
- V5 This is the attitude that should determine your dealings with each other; it is the attitude that Jesus Christ exemplified to us.
Paul summarises: Jesus is the prime example of a good friend! That is also my personal conviction! Neither the very best friend nor the very best girlfriend can trump Jesus. No human being can live friendship like him. When friendships are formed, it is always a gift. If you ask: «How can I get a good friend?» Then I would give you the following tip today: Go home and put Phil 2:1–5 into practice little by little and pay attention to what happens to you! Before Jesus was taken captive, Judas came with a horde of men and betrayed Jesus with a feigned kiss. And Jesus says to him:«My friend, this is what you came to?» (Matthew 26:50 LU) I probably would have asked Jesus there, «Wasn’t that a bit hypocritical too?!» No, Jesus could not be hypocritical at all! Jesus could greet Judas like that because he always looks at people through the layer of dirt that sticks to them! Perhaps there is someone among us this morning who has failed horribly in their Christian life in the past week and is now deeply saddened at themselves. I dare to say to you in Jesus» name: «My friend, I’m glad you came to worship, to be close to Jesus! If you are sorry, Jesus is ready to forgive you!»
Do you have a real boyfriend, a real girlfriend?
Or do you say like the man at the Pool of Bethesda: «I have no man?» I’ll refer the question here to the seetal chile. Do you have real friends here?
Can you answer the following in the affirmative:
- I have more than one person here in the community with whom I can talk openly and honestly about everything!
- I have more than one person here in the community that I could call in an emergency at any time of the day or night!
- Here in the community I can give myself as I am, because I feel loved, accepted and accepted as I am, with all my rough edges.
- I feel here that other people are interested in me and really want to know how I am.
What is a friendship worth?
I’ll answer from my personal point of view: Friends have always challenged and questioned me! Being with friends has changed my life. I have learned to put up with other opinions and views for the sake of friendship. A friend does not approve of everything I approve of. Not everything that is important to me is important to him! Friendships also live on forgiveness – like a marriage. Friendship relationships are of priceless value! By making us his friends, Jesus has enabled us to treat our neighbours with love and to be friendly to them.
Amen!
Possible questions for the small groups
Read Bible text: John 15:15 / Philippians 2:1–5
- How do you experience Jesus as a friend, e.g. in everyday life?
- What do you expect from a friendship between Christians?
- What are the challenges of such a friendship for you?
- Can you answer the four points in the affirmative? (At the end of question 2 of the sermon)
- How do you make friends?
