Paying the debt of others
Series: Follow me | Bible text: Matthew 18:28–35
There are three basic dimensions of Christian forgiveness. Firstly, there is the vertical dimension – God’s forgiveness towards us. Secondly, there is the internal dimension – the forgiveness we grant to anyone who has wronged us. Thirdly, there is the horizontal dimension – our willingness to be reconciled. The horizontal dimension is based on the inner, and the inner is based on the vertical. This sermon is primarily about inner forgiveness.
A pastor friend of mine, who passed away last year at the age of 67 due to cancer, writes in his autobiography about two experiences at the deathbeds of church role models: «My wife and I had decided to abort our third child because two children were already a big challenge for us. I asked Jesus for forgiveness at every communion service for sixty years. I have done as much as I could for the church and the mission, but I can’t find peace, this story accuses me every day!» This is about the vertical dimension of forgiveness, between God and us. Can I believe and accept for myself personally that the astronomical sum of CHF 4.38 billion (cf. sermon of 6 October 2024) includes every single one of my sins? Is the blood of Jesus also sufficient for my deepest abysses and failures?
In the parable (Matthew 18:21–35), the king cancelled his servant’s entire debt. Shortly afterwards, the ex-debtor meets a colleague who owes him 600,000 less. For inexplicable reasons, he reacts with maximum ruthlessness: «He had him arrested and imprisoned until he had paid his entire debt» (Matthew 18:30 NLB). The guilt that other people have towards us is always a thousand times less than the guilt that God has forgiven us. This even applies to situations of abuse. The king’s reaction is not long in coming: «The king was so angry that he had the man thrown into prison until he had paid every last cent of his debt» (V.34 NLB). Jesus concludes the narrative of this parable with a very serious sentence: «In the same way, my Father in heaven will deal with you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters» (V.35 NLB). This interdependence between the vertical and horizontal planes runs like a red thread through the New Testament. «Instead, be kind and compassionate to one another and forgive each other, just as God has forgiven you through Christ» (Ephesians 4:32 NLB). The experience of God’s costly love in forgiving our sins is the motivation and the strength to forgive those who are guilty against us. The inability to forgive others is the telltale sign that I have not accepted God’s undeserved forgiveness and mercy.
Swapping the position
What is so offensive about the attitude of the unmerciful servant towards his fellow man? It is this: A man who is a servant and lives only on the mercy of the king behaves as if he were a servant. he the king and judge. «To prison with you!», he says to someone who is a servant like him. How inappropriate and misplaced. When we, who live only by God’s mercy, judge others, we put ourselves in God’s place. When we do this, we judge each other, pay back each other and deny each other forgiveness. Whenever we don’t want to forgive someone, we are a servant acting like a king.
The only thing that can stop a servant from behaving like a king is a glimpse of the amazing love of the king who became a servant. We should be sitting in the dock, but we have sat in the judgement seat. But the Lord, who was rightly seated on the judgement seat of the universe, came down, sat in the dock and went to the cross.
The resources for forgiveness
A good example of a person who does not act like a king is Joseph, Jacob’s favourite son. Jacob favoured Joseph and turned him into a spoiled, self-absorbed young man. This enraged the other sons so much that they acted cruelly. They sold Joseph into slavery in Egypt. There he was humiliated and changed and began to trust in God as his strength. Eventually, he became the leading government authority in Egypt alongside the king.
Twenty years later, Joseph’s brothers come to Egypt and stand before him. They want to buy food to survive a severe famine. They do not recognise Joseph, but he recognises them very well. However, he does not recognise them. The brothers are horrified and speechless, for they fear that they will now receive their just judgement.
If we have difficulties with forgiveness, we can find out how to do it here.
- Joseph had enough humility to forgive. His statement: «Don’t be afraid of me. Am I in God’s place?» (Genesis 50:19 NLB), proves this. He does not set himself up as king or judge, but identifies with the offenders as fellow sinners. Remaining unforgiving means not realising how much you yourself need forgiveness.
- Joseph had experienced enough good things to forgive. Secondly, Joseph says: «As far as I am concerned, God has turned all the evil you planned to do to good» (V.20 NLB). Joseph does not gloss over things, but speaks of the evil they had in mind. But Joseph has experienced God’s care and his costly love. No one can touch this inner richness. The more we live out of the joy that we have been forgiven, the more quickly we will be able to forgive others.
Both humility and the good we have experienced are based on the knowledge that God has given us salvation by pure grace and that He has paid the price for it.
- This is followed by the step into concrete action: «So do not be afraid. I myself will take care of you and your families» (V.21 NLB). Joseph forgives evil with good. Forgiving means treating someone the way God treats me.
The call for forgiveness
The second deathbed story is as follows: «An old woman tells me how she was raped several times as a teenager within the church environment and could not tell anyone, not even her future husband. She not only felt dirty, but also guilty, even though she was the victim.»
There are three basic dimensions of Christian forgiveness. Firstly, there is the vertical dimension – God’s forgiveness towards us. Secondly, there is the internal dimension – the forgiveness we grant to anyone who has wronged us. Thirdly, there is the horizontal dimension – our willingness to reconcile. This sermon is primarily about inner forgiveness. Next time we will deal with the area of reconciliation and the restoration of justice. It is never possible to fulfil the above example through inner forgiveness alone. In Christian communities in particular, abusers have too often been protected by silencing victims or telling them to forgive.
It may seem cynical at first for a victim of abuse, but the path to healing and reconciliation begins with inner forgiveness. There is a huge difference between forgiving and apologising. When perpetrators are sometimes confronted with their offence and give a good explanation for their actions, we may accept this and excuse them. But this is not forgiveness – it is the realisation that there was no real guilt. Forgiveness is the renunciation of retaliation and the willingness to reconcile. This includes the following steps:
- truthfully describing the injustice as actually wrong and worthy of punishment (and not simply excusing it)
- Identifying with the offender as a fellow sinner
- releasing the perpetrator from the personal obligation to make amends by accepting the blame themselves
- to work towards reconciliation and the restoration of the relationship that has been shattered by injustice. (see next sermon)
Jesus believes that every person involved in a conflict is automatically responsible for starting the forgiveness process:
«So if you are standing in front of the altar in the temple to sacrifice and you suddenly realise that someone has something against you, then leave your sacrifice in front of the altar, go to the person in question and reconcile with them. Only then come back and offer your sacrifice to God» (Matthew 5:23f NLB).
«And if you pray and have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses» (Mark 11:25 New Testament).
In this second text, God asks us to forgive, regardless of whether the guilty party has repented and asked for forgiveness or not: Forgive him (aphiete) is in the present tense of the imperative in order to achieve the greatest possible emphasis. When we are sinned against, we lose something – be it happiness, reputation, inner peace, a relationship, an opportunity or something else. In all situations where injustice occurs, there is always guilt, and there is no way to deal with it without suffering – either you let the perpetrator suffer for it or you forgive and suffer for it yourself. Either you make the debtor pay by hurting them until you feel things are even, or you pay by forgiving and bearing the pain yourself. Forgiveness is always emotionally costly. It costs a lot of blood, sweat and tears.
When we forgive, we pay the debt ourselves in various ways:
- By deciding not to directly harm the perpetrator of the injustice.
- By refusing to speak badly about the person who has hurt us.
- By denying ourselves negative thoughts about the person who has offended or harmed us.
Forgiveness is therefore granted before it is felt or before the perpetrators have realised what they have done. It is a promise to resolutely deny oneself the three things mentioned, to pray for the person who caused the damage and at the same time to realise that one lives exclusively by the grace of God.
The American actress Carrie Fisher expresses what happens when you don’t forgive: «Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.» Nobody can actually afford that.
By paying the price of sin ourselves, we follow Jesus on his path. One of his last words on the cross was: «Father, forgive these people, for they know not what they do»(Luke 23:34 NLB). Jesus forgave without these criminals realising their guilt. On the cross, God’s love satisfied his own justice by suffering and bearing the punishment for sin. There is never forgiveness without suffering, nails, sweat and blood.
Possible questions for the small groups
Read the Bible text: Matthew 28:21–35
- What attitude of heart did Joseph have that enabled him to forgive his brothers? How was the relationship restored?
- Whenever we don’t want to forgive someone, we are a servant acting like a king. What does this statement trigger in you?
- What is the difference between apologising and forgiving?
- How do you pay for other people’s debts? What is important?
- Is there resentment in your heart against people you have not yet forgiven?
